INTRODUCTION

This blog is created jointly by my husband, known here as Mr. I Define Me, and me, known here as Mrs. I Define Me, with additional insights by our daughter, Jr. I Define Me.

Most of the typing is done by me, Mrs. IDM because Mr. IDM hates to type and I'm an expert - but alot of the posts and comments will actually be directly from Mr. IDM because we have hours of recordings (that have been transcribed into notes) as he has related many of his experiences and feelings.  I will also share some of my thoughts and writings  (because I'm a writer and because Mr. is often very busy with his job that takes him all over the world). But,  please know and understand that WE are truly a team with  pretty much the same beliefs, and we have an impeccable  understanding of each other's feelings, and basically share everything with each other.  We have, through the years, established, and fine tuned, some pretty amazing and completely honest communication skills, so it is easy for us to talk about anything.  We hope to have open dialog and be available to answer questions in a very timely manner (if not immediately). 

I, Mr. I Define Me,   release all authority to my wife to share my story, thoughts, feelings, beliefs, trials, struggles, etc.  because  I trust that she knows all about me, and I  have great  respect  for her and honor her for her writing skills and ability to tell OUR experiences and express OUR feelings.  I will also be very proactive on this blog and I'm excited to get started...so...

Welcome to OUR blog:

Hello, I am Mr. I Define Me.  The main theme of this blog is in relation to my life as a homosexual man who has found peace and happiness in my life as I have managed to take control of my life, and DEFINE MYSELF, into the man that I feel is most authentic to me, (in spite of my physical attraction to men), by doing the following...

* Offering my best effort daily into living the Gospel of Jesus Christ
* Honoring my marriage (for 30+ years) to my wife, a heterosexual woman
* Gratefully loving being a Father to my 4 children
* Delighting in being a Grandpa to my grandchildren
* Defiantly walking away from my past of seeking sexual liaisons with other men
* Humbly & sincerely repenting for my deceitful lies and marital infidelity, and for my unhealthy sexual activities of, and addiction to masturbating to homosexual fantasies
* Respectfully and enthusiastically building an authentic, honest, loving, spiritual, and fulfilling relationship with my beautiful and amazing wife who I love with all my heart more and more each day.
* Prayerfully and consistently redirecting my sexual desires away from men and towards my wife by focusing on, recognizing, and appreciation of healthy sexual interaction, flirting, anticipation, and experiences with her.
* Faithfully diminishing my obsessive sexual thoughts by turning my heart, soul, and mind to God
* Steadfastly and completely eliminating my selfish, lonely, and unholy practice of masturbation, by continuously replacing those urges with healthy life coping skills, but mostly by cultivating my increasing physical desire for my wife, which has evolved into an indescribable blessing of enhanced pleasure and complete fulfillment beyond anything I could have ever imagined.  I testify that I know that these blessings are a direct result of my 100% abstinence from masturbation.  I am shocked and amazed that I have actually been able to take such control of this practice that has almost always been a regular part of my life since age 10.
*Willingly committing my life to God, as I have found that it is only when I am spiritually minded, prayerful, and submissive to my Heavenly Father and His son, my Savior Jesus Christ, that I truly feel at peace within myself and am completely able to enjoy the countless blessings of my wonderful life.

DISCLAIMER.....

I know that my beliefs, choices, and lifestyle may not be accepted by some, and that some may be intimidated and even angry with me (and my wife) for our openness in sharing our story with the world;  but then, it is OUR LIFE, and OUR STORY, and our story is unique, interesting, and might possibly be inspiring to some.

We are not here to change the world, we are not here to change anybody, for that matter. We whole heartedly acknowledge that this subject is sensitive and the issue is complicated. We certainly don’t have all the answers, and we ask that our readers and/or critics will admit to the same.
So, we respectfully request the same open-mindedness, individual respect, and acceptance from those in the gay community (and their advocates) that they have been working so hard for years to achieve for themselves.
I don’t see my lifestyle and choices as going backwards from the progression/movement towards homosexual awareness, but instead, I see acknowledgement and acceptance of me and my life as coming FULL CIRCLE, where ALL gay men can be respected as intellectual individuals who have the right to live their life according to the dictates of their own conscience, without ridicule, outside pressures, or judgements. 

Our hope is that OUR story might somehow and in some way help someone. Maybe, it will help open some minds, maybe it will promote patience, tolerance, acceptance, and love. Maybe it will give some sort of hope to someone who currently has none.  This is why we have decided to share.


Hi ! - I am Mrs. I Define Me.  Thank you for your interest in our blog.  I am excited to share our story.  It is an amazing and compelling story of LOVE, trials, confusion, LOVE, heartache, secrets, conflict, LOVE, forgiveness, patience, learning, growing, LOVE, humility, strength, commitment, perseverance,  faith, and miracles, ..... but mostly LOVE. 

OUR story is all of the above mentioned, and more, but first and foremost, it is about GOD'S LOVE.

Together we will share some of our most intimate experiences and feelings.   We will share the good and the bad, some of the realities that aren't pretty, and the truth about the ups and downs.  We will also attempt to answer many of the questions that we know a lot of people might have.  We promise to be genuine, honest, realistic, and spiritual, and we hope to be respectful, funny,  lovable, entertaining, and down to earth.

I honor my husband, his courage, faith, strength, and commitment to God. I am so excited to tell his story of how and why he has intelligently and thoughtfully chosen to mold his life through following his instincts, his personal beliefs in the gospel of Jesus Christ, and his lifelong relationship with God, - which, was more powerful and more important, to him, than his desires for, and sexual attraction to, men. He chose NOT to embrace his homosexuality, but instead, he chose to abstain from homosexual acts, repent of his marital infidelity, take control of his homosexual thoughts, and (he says, most importantly) to abstain from masturbation, and be faithful to me, his wife, and committed to his understanding and belief in God.

This is the story of our “extra- ordinary" life. We have lived it, are still living it, and have decided to share it. God has worked many miracles in our lives and we feel that it is God’s will that we tell these experiences to those who are receptive to hear. We realize that there will be some who, for whatever reason, do not agree with our beliefs,  may not believe what we say,  but, we are hoping and praying that those people will recognize that this blog is not for them and leave it for the consumption of those who find it interesting or inspiring, or those who can relate to our story and might possibly find it helpful to them.

We just want our voices to be heard, and to proclaim to the world that marriages like ours DO exist, CAN be successful, and, that we are OK.  We are happy, fulfilled, and completely confident that what we have molded for ourselves IS a great and wonderful most authentic relationship.  We have an undying love for each other, great respect and understanding for each other, and we are closer and more complete now than we have ever been.

DISCLAIMER.....

We hope and insist, that OUR story will be understood as just that, OUR STORY, not to be used in any way to pressure anyone, not to be misunderstood, in any way, as an effort to promote our life decisions and beliefs for anyone else.

We don't want our blog to turn into a place for heated debate and controversy. Although we DO want intelligent, thoughtful, and diverse discussion, and we appreciate all unique points of view, we DO NOT want any comments to be blatantly hurtful to us or to others, and we hope to keep a learning and growing environment full of love, respect, and most of all, where the spirit of God can be felt.

We hate to have to "approve" comments, but we will if it becomes necessarily in order to maintain the boundaries we have set for our blog.  So please refrain from comments that contain ad hominem and straw man arguments. (If you are unfamiliar with these terms, an ad hominem argument is belittling somebody to argue against their position, and a straw man argument is when you oversimplify someone else's opinion so it is easier to lampoon.)  Please refrain from attacking our beliefs, religion, and spiritual leaders.  We respectfully request respect, and believe that intelligent and civil discussion is not too much to ask - since it's OUR BLOG.  Thanks :)

So, having said that...We are grateful you are here and we are excited to tell our story.  We have some pretty awesome "stuff" to tell you, and we hope you'll stick around and enjoy.